Ahhhh yes, the big issue that a lot of our couples face. To tell friends and family that you’re getting married, or to keep it a secret?
There’s so many layers to this, that I feel like we need to break it down into possible scenarios to fully address the scope of this issue. Let’s categorise our answer here into three categories – telling people that you are eloping in the near future, telling them on the day and telling people after the ceremony has passed (it might be hours after, or months). Let’s get into it!
BEFORE THE ELOPEMENT
It’s common for our couples to keep their upcoming elopement private, notifying only those invited. It’s nice to reduce the amount of stress that people might try throw your way as your wedding day approaches. Whilst they may just be wanting to help, their expectations of what your wedding experience will be probably won’t line up with yours. There’s always going to be some people in your family/friends circle that want to have their say (without being asked!!) as to how you should do things.
For example, one of our recent couples messaged us and said this…
“Just thought I’d check in and see if I’m forgetting I need to do something. Everyone keeps asking if they can help and suggesting I must be so busy in the week before my “wedding” so I feel like I should be doing something!”
We replied with the following…
“Oh gosh! Isn’t this the whole reason you are eloping?!! It should be simple, easy and stress-free. You aren’t missing anything, Jake and I will turn up, you will get married by me (I’ll supply all the legal paperwork) and Jake will take bloody great photos and you will love the fact that you did it YOUR way and no one else’s!! Hopefully everyone is respectful of you wanting to keep it low key and stress free so that you can enjoy every moment of your day and in the lead up to it. “
Safe to say, our couple were absolutely STOKED to hear that there really doesn’t need to be any stress associated with your wedding. It’s often just the expectations of others that can add stress, which is the main reason why people keep their upcoming wedding plans to a “need-to-know” basis!
It’s quite nice to not announce it beforehand and keep the excitement protected and pure.
ON THE DAY
We had a couple recently, Sarah and Steve, that did it in such a beautiful and unique way. They invited their family to come have a “family photoshoot” at Oh Honey, Geelong. Then, once there, we surprised everyone with the news that it was actually their wedding!!
It was SO incredible to witness, and everyone was so damn happy for them. The kids’ partners knew, as they had to take off work, but it was a surprise to the rest of them.
It removed all of the pressure in the lead-up and made for some truly beautiful memories together.
AFTER THE ELOPEMENT
The majority of our couples do not announce their marriage until after the day has passed. We love to see couples head away and enjoy each others company in the days/weeks after their elopement, without a million (well-meaning) messages from friends and family. There’s something so special about the blissful peace you can experience when you get to celebrate on your own terms first.
We see lots of people get married with us and then a fortnight or so later they’ll announce it on social media (if they use it).
We have had a few couples not share it at all, and only tell people if they ask/if they’re hanging out and it comes up/etc. It doesn’t have to be a big deal if that’s not your jam!
It all comes down to YOU. What would make YOU happy? There is no right or wrong way to do this. Sure, some people may be upset with whatever choice you make, but that’s outside your control.